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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “highly unrealistic”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his actions, rendering him especially susceptible to negative feedback from external sources. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and was later diagnosed by a professional. However, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis without having already reached that understanding by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Though people have been called narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, noting the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice associated with the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people identified as having the condition are males, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I never had that as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, struggles with mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for psychological counseling via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his condition, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the rise of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number